Most parents spend a lifetime trying to make life easier for their children. One of the most thoughtful ways to do that is by talking openly about pre-planning.
It’s not always an easy subject to bring up, but avoiding it does not make it less important. In fact, a recent AARP End of Life Survey found that while 85 percent of adults age 45 and older say they are comfortable discussing death and dying, 69 percent say the topic is generally avoided. The same survey found that 63 percent worry about becoming a physical burden on family and friends.
That is why pre-planning matters. It’s not just about death, it’s about peace of mind, clarity and care for the people who may one day have to make difficult decisions on your behalf. AARP also reports that meaningful conversations about end-of-life choices can help survivors feel less guilt, less depression and have an easier grieving process.
At Woodlawn, pre-planning is built around that same idea: giving families time to understand choices, share wishes and avoid making major decisions under pressure.
Start the Conversation Before It Feels Urgent
The best time to talk is before a health crisis, not during one. The conversation is usually easier when everyone is calm, healthy and able to think clearly.
That first conversation does not have to be formal. It can begin during a quiet ride home, after attending a funeral service for a friend, or while talking about retirement plans, wills or other practical matters. You’ll likely find that children feel relieved when a parent brings it up first. It removes the fear that they are being intrusive and makes it clear the conversation is coming from a place of love.
Make It a Conversation, Not a Single Talk
One reason people avoid pre-planning discussions is that they imagine one long, uncomfortable conversation where every decision must be made at once. In reality, it rarely works that way. The Conversation Project, a national public-engagement initiative focused on end-of-life wishes, emphasizes that no single conversation can cover every decision a family may face. What a conversation can do is create a shared understanding of what matters most.
That can be a helpful way to think about talking with your children. You do not need to present a finished binder or a perfectly detailed plan. Start with the larger questions. What matters most to you? What kind of remembrance feels right? What would bring you peace of mind? AARP suggests using prompts such as, “What matters to me at the end of life is ___” That kind of statement can open the door to a more natural and meaningful discussion.
Be Clear About the Decisions That Matter
Once the conversation begins, try to be specific. Your children do not need every answer all at once, but it helps to know the essentials. Would you prefer in-ground burial, mausoleum interment or cremation? If cremation feels right, would you still want a permanent place where family can visit and remember? Where would you like to be memorialized? Have you thought about budget, payment plans or the documents your family would need later?
Woodlawn believes ever life deserves to be remembered – even when cremation is chosen – so future generations have a place to visit and reflect. Woodlawn’s pre-planning process walks families through those kinds of choices, including in-ground burial, mausoleum options and cremation and remembrance.